It is Well

 

Broken Pour

A poem by Anna Louise Smit

 

A life I spent 

In fear to strive

My wrongs 

In works to right.

 

My worth 

To lies succumbed

I longed

The ache to still.

 

A life I spent

My yearning 

Deep to quench 

In seeking love

The lying tongues

Had spoken dead

In deeds of men

They claimed Your hand had writ.

 

A life I spent

In hardened layers wrapped 

The hurt and grief 

Cocooned beneath.

 

Each festered wound 

Just burning grew 

For eternal Home 

In me.

 

A life I spent 

In longing 

Outstretched arms

To feel.

 

Believing You’d abandoned me

Not worthy deemed

My sinner’s darkened heart

In love to hold.

 

A life I spent

In running from 

Those outstretched arms

To fill my empty void.

 

In doing good

For man to call me good

And accepted deem

In striving seen.

 

A life I spent 

With sins 

So hidden deep

I longed to strip and run.

 

Toward 

And not away from You

To hear You call my name

Your hand my face to lift.

 

And yet this life I spent

In fear and grief cocooned

You’d always purposed good

Kingdom’s Light to dawn.

 

The seeds once sown so deep

Their fruit in me now bear

For hidden deep in Christ 

My life of grief and pain You held.

 

No, I did not choose Your love

But fled in sin I hid from You

But You chose me 

Appointed me for Life.

 

Fearfully and wonderfully 

Your child You wove in mother’s womb

That I should go

And bear much lasting fruit.

 

Fruit in Vine abiding

So that whatever I now ask my Father

In Your holy, righteous name 

You may give to me.

 

And so my death 

In cocoon died

As calling sweet in Father’s arms

My Life alive He breathed.

 

Word made flesh 

My hardened heart He broke

I finally weep and cry

The Butterfly in me He’s freed.

 

No longer I

But Christ in me 

He lives

My heart to breathe.

 

The pain, the fears, the shame 

You help me pour and cast 

For You search and know 

My dark to Light now speak.

 

My sins in Light are bathed 

I name each one

In grieved, yet thankful heart

Your righteousness now mine declare.

 

My hardened heart 

In living, breathing Word 

You softened write 

Each broken child You whole restore.

 

Praise the Lord 

The One and Only God

Outside the camp You lead us go

All sinners’ hearts to You restore.

 

Not my will

But Yours be done, is now my cry

Lord break this hardened vessel

Your love in me to grow and pour.

 

John 11:25 (ESV)
Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life.[a] Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live,

Footnotes:
[a] Some manuscripts omit and the life

 

So Jesus said to Peter, “Put your sword into its sheath; shall I not drink the cup that the Father has given me?” John 18:11 (ESV)



As my Mum lay dying from cancer, I felt a peace beyond all human fathoming breathe life into a room of death. I had felt this same peace fall upon me, as my heart ached with the weight of my Mum’s diagnosis. This Peace wrapped itself around me and my Mum, not removing our grief or our pain, but breathing life into our dying.


At the time, I was not seeking God. I had not repented of my sin. I didn’t even know what exactly had caused my turning. Even as I continued to pray for others, I vehemently believed my own soul was irredeemable. Yet, here was the God I believed had rejected me, wrapping not just my physically dying Mum, but also my spiritually dying heart in His open arms.

Because Jesus turned toward the cup of suffering and not away, like Peter and I, Christ paved the Way for us to shed the old and rise into the new. Here, the gift in John 11:25 is actually in the dying. The Greek word to die refers to a separation, a dying off (see HELPS Word study for “apothnesko”). So “yet shall he live” speaks of a rising up into our living hope, as Jesus enables us to shed the weight He has ALREADY carried to the Cross.

 

John 6: 44 (ESV)

No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him. And I will raise him up on the last day.



Blessed be You, the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! Thank You that according to Your great mercy, You have caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for us. Thank You that by God’s power we are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.

 

Thank You that just as with Peter, You began interceding for us before the attacks of the enemy were sent our way. Thank You that just as with Peter, You have purposed our Prodigal journeys for good, so that when we turn back we may strengthen our brothers and sisters, by feeding Your sheep and Your lambs with Your holy Word. 

 

Help us to rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, we are grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of our faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ (1 Peter 1:3-7).

 

Thank You that You placed the song It Is Well sung by Kristene DiMarco in my YouTube feed mere weeks after my Mum died, even before I had returned home to You. Thank You that You put this song in my mouth to declare the truth of my salvation over myself as I grieved my Mum’s earthly loss. Father, I pray that this very day You would place this song into the heart and mouth of another Prodigal yearning for Your arms. In Jesus’ Mighty Name, Amen. 

 

 

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