I Will Sing

If I Had Not Known


If I had not known

The piercing of love’s sword

In lifting up cries 

For a brother 

Whose silenced cries 

Entered my heart

I would not know 

The faithfulness of a Savior 

Who saw, knew 

And carried my broken heart

More than twenty years long

Nor the power of a God

Who heals, restores

And makes whole 

A family 

In Him woven One.


If I had not known 

The horrors of cancer

Stealing strength and life

From my Mum

Day in and day out

I would never have tasted

The peace 

That passes all understanding 

Nor the love 

That conquers all.


If I had not known

What it is to be held 

When all I wanted 

Was to die 

I would not know 

The power of God

Perfected in trauma 

I would never have entered 

The fellowship of suffering 

To be embraced 

By so many 

Near and far 

Who know 

That to live is Christ 

And to die is gain.


If I had not known 

Rejection’s repeated sting

I would never 

Have had my eyes opened

By faith to see Jesus 

Outside the camp 

Calling me, a sinner,

To sit and break bread

With Him.


If I had not known

My pride 

And worldly standing 


I would not now know 

The treasure of heaven 

In my family’s eyes

Nor the gift 

Of the alabaster box broken

Of prayers upon prayers


As incense sweet.


If I had not known 

The lies upon me hailing

In my God’s own House  

I would not know

The One who tethers our feet 

To the ground

Who pours His breath 

Into our lungs

Who teaches us 

Again and again

The quiet to favor

To know and be known by 

Love, truth and grace.


I would not know

The One who sends us out 

Armored strong

In truth and love and grace to stand 

Nor would I know the One

Who sets us apart

To angel choirs singing 

His covenant arching strong 

Nor would I have tasted victory 

In each and every surrender.


If I did not know

Sleepless nights 

And tension’s freezing

Through trauma’s triggers

I would not be so 

Hungry and thirsty

For God’s Word

Nor would I be tasting

The freedom 

Of daily meeting my LORD

And watching His sword 

Slice through every lie

And bring me daily 

To the foot of the Cross

In my weakness and sin

Grace and peace to receive.


If I had not known suffering

I wouldn’t be tasting

The width and depth and breadth 

Of love now

I wouldn’t know my Savior 

And His Cross 

To always and ever be



So, today

I will lift my voice 

And sing!




I will lift my hands

In praise!


Even as my heart aches

My tears fall

And my flesh and heart fail me

Again and again 

I will give thanks!


I will shout in praise

Of the One

Who remains 

The strength of my heart

Of the One

Who overcomes

Every weapon formed against us

On His Cross 

Every curse

Has already broken



Yes, today, I will praise Him 

In whom each and every Promise 

Is Yes and Amen!



Father, thank You for holding out Your love and belonging to us every single day of our life. Open our eyes to see Your extended hand today.


Thank You for Your mercy. Thank You for Your grace. Thank You for the humbling You work in us through suffering. Thank You for the gift of pain that draws us all deeper into who You truly are.


Thank You for taking us where we would never go of our own accord. Open our eyes to see You in the families we have married into and in the communities You have set us. Thank You for using our Prodigal journeys to restore and heal Your broken Body.


Thank You that You are faithful from generation to generation. Thank You that Your love conquers death, that Your peace surpasses all understanding and that You have broken every curse holding us captive. 


Thank You that You are unveiling Your freedom in each one of us day by day. Thank You that You are leading us forward, planting us by Your living streams even now, in our blindness, when we cannot yet see You in full. Thank You that we will yet see the fulfillment of each and every single Promise from Your living and active Word in our lives. 


Thank You that You have not forsaken even one of Your beloved Prodigals and that You will yet perfect Your power in our every weakness. Thank You that our struggles do not define who we are, but are only entrusted us to draw us more deeply into who You are. Remind us and show us that You are so much greater than we could ever fathom. 


Today, I choose to lift up my sacrifice of praise in honor of who You are in each one of us. Thank You for being SO strong in our weakness. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.


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